Max Gladwell

In the best “Formidable Opponent” yet, Stephen Colbert debates offshore oil drilling with himself. We take the Democrats to task on blowing the issue entirely.

Energy has quickly become the issue of issues in this year’s election. It’s not so much that anyone cares about energy security or pollution. The debate is not about forward-thinking policy. It’s just that a gallon of gas costs too damn much. The solutions we hear are pretty surprising. Small government is great in principle until it costs you $150 to fill up your truck…at which point we expect the government to step in and make oil cheap again.

In fact, this is really an economic issue that is symptomatic of our buy-now-pay-later global economy, which is ultimately driven by the illusion of cheap oil. It’s artificially cheap, like a negative amortization mortgage, where we’ll be making up for that low, introductory rate from now until the day oil runs out completely.

The solution for many is to drill for more of it. Offshore drilling has become a so-called wedge issue. The take-charge Republicans are for it while the tree-hugging Democrats are against it. It’s ridiculous that this has even become an issue. Amazing as it is, the Democrats have allowed the Republicans to put them on the defensive and swing public opinion in their favor…despite having the Bush administration’s bottomless pit of scandal, incompetence, high crimes, and misdemeanors. If Obama loses, he should start his own party, because the Democrats will have proven themselves incompetent beyond repair.

Part of the problem is that the Democrats think the American people are in a position to figure out that offshore drilling is not a reasonable solution. Instead, these politicians come across as preaching from ivory towers while middle-class Americans struggle to make ends meet and find jobs. They can be excused for wanting and expecting a quick fix, even if it doesn’t make sense. Politics, in many ways, is like business: you have to know what your customers want and give it to them. Otherwise, you go out of business or get voted out.

Truth is, more drilling of any kind is not a solution. It’s going to happen sooner or later, but it’s not a solution. Instead, the reasoning goes like this: if the Democrats are opposed to offshore drilling for touchy-feely environmental reasons, then there certainly must be something to it. That’s not reason enough not to drill; it must be political; therefore, we must drill. Just in case something good can come from it. Because all I’m looking for is a sense of security. Offshore drilling is like the Homeland Security Advisory System, also known as the threat level. The threat of a terrorist attack and the price of gas don’t actually change, but our perceptions of them do…thanks to a color-coded chart and the lifting of executive and congressional bans on drilling.

Which is fine. Lift the ban. Then let oil companies deal with the states and so many environmental NGOs in the courts, while repealing taxpayer subsidies, which should be done anyway, and enacting environmental regulations in the next administration. It’s called picking your battles. For whatever reason, the Democrats consistently pick the wrong ones.

But here’s the reality (again). If we drill for offshore oil, it goes into the world market. It adds supply which can, in massive quantities, drive down prices. But it drives down prices for everyone. Even if offshore drilling drove down the price of oil in 10 years (it won’t), we’d be doing the world a huge favor at our own expense. Instead, if we develop domestic, renewable energy to replace oil, it stays here. We reap the lion’s share of the benefit in the form of more energy security, less pollution, more jobs, more exports, and lower prices.

Stephen Colbert tackles the issue in a Formidable Opponent segment (above) in which he debates himself. Part of his case (if you can call it that) is that the threat of additional oil supply from offshore drilling will spook speculators and drive down price. The assumption is that supply and output are not a problem and that speculators have driven up the price. There’s evidence of that lately with the sudden fall from $145/barrel to $117/barrel. This case can certainly be made. However, we’re more likely to attribute it to the unprecedented drop in demand, driven by a massive economic slowdown coupled with a fury of conservation. It’s a potent one-two punch.

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